Leap of Faith
by Firestarter0610
Summary: Jack grew up with the Carolina boys. After she moves away and unfortunate things happen, will she be able to go home again? Or will the pain be too much?
1. Surprise Visitors

"Hello?"

"Jack, it's me. I'm on my way up there, and I'll explain why later."

"OK, call me when you get to the airport and I will come pick you up."

"Thanks, I'll see you later then."

"Later, man."

And that's how I got woken up this morning. Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jacqueline Dawson, but you can call me Jack. My friends gave me that nickname because I was such a tom boy growing up in Cameron, NC. After attending college at Georgetown, I decided to remain in D.C. I try go to Cameron once a month, just to visit friends, except for the last few. Given the fact that I had just returned from there two weeks ago, the phone call I received this morning shocked me even more. From the sound of his voice, I instantly knew something was very wrong. This leads me to where I am now, sitting in the lobby of Regan International Airport. As soon as I saw him walk through the gate, that distant, forlorn look on the face of Matt Hardy speaks volumes. As soon as he spots me, he instantly heads my direction. I instantly take him in my arms knowing that whatever is going on inside of his head has taken its toll on him. He grabs his bags and we head for the parking lot. Soon we are in the car and on the way to my house. I look over at him in the passenger seat, to see that he is apparently in his own little world. I place a comforting hand over his and watch as he slightly jumps under my touch.

"Relax, it's just me. Whatever's going on Matt, you know you can tell me right?"

"…"

"Mattie, it's ok. We'll make it through this like we have everything else, together. Remember?"

When he finally spoke, his voice was so quiet, barely above a whisper.

"Yea I remember Jack."

There was nothing else said the entire drive home. Soon I pulled the car into my driveway and we went into the house. Matt decided to speak again, his voice still barely able to be heard.

"Do you mind if I borrow your shower?"

"Go ahead Mattie. After that, you and I are going to have a talk."

30 minutes later, I finally heard the bathroom door open. I made my way towards the bathroom door where Matt stood with his comb in hand. I placed my hand out, and Matt instinctively knowing what to do, handed it over, grabbed the towel and followed me to the living room. Matt made himself comfortable on the floor in front of my couch in front of where I was sitting and I began combing his hair. The first few minutes were filled with nothing but silence. As I finally put his hair in his signature ponytail, and removed the towel from around his neck I heard Matt sigh. This wasn't just any sigh, this was a defeated sigh. The one I never heard from Matt Hardy before in his life. He finally removed himself from the floor and sat beside me on the couch.

"I left Amy."

Talk about a shock. I never thought I would ever hear those words come from his lips. Like so many others, I thought he and Amy were going to be together forever.

"Sweetie what happened?"

"Copeland is what happened."

"Copeland as in Adam Copeland a.k.a. Edge? I thought you two were good friends."

"We were. It seems as if he and Amy were having an affair behind my back while I was out injured. Not only that, she lied about it to me after I had damning evidence proving they were indeed involved."

"Oh my God!"

"Adam's wife called me the day you left and ask me why Copeland and Amy were calling each other at least 3-4 times a day. I told her I knew nothing about it, but I would see what I could find out. When both were ask if anything was going on, they of course denied everything. A few days ago I was cleaning the house, accidentally tipping over Amy's purse while trying to move it. An unfamiliar cell phone fell out. As I went through it, there were messages on it that were about everything but wrestling. It was then I knew the whole ugly truth. After Amy finally admitted what was going on, I told her to get her stuff and get out of the house."

"She threw 6 years away for Copeland? That stupid bitch!"

When those words left my lips a look of surprise appeared on Matt's face. Hardly anyone ever hears me curse unless I am highly angry with someone.

"I just needed to get out of North Carolina for a while. That's why I called you. No one knows I'm even gone. I want it to stay that way as I know the cavalry will be calling you once they discover I've taken off."

"You know you've got a place here for however long you want to stay Mattie."

"Thank you, Jack."

"I did plan on making the trip to RAW from Raleigh next week though."

"Jack…"

"It was going to be a surprise to all of you. No one even knows except you."

"They are already planning to keep me off the show, and maybe even Shane."

"They're what? It's like they're condoning what's happened."

"Believe me; Shane isn't happy about the idea of being taken off of a show, especially because of this."

"All this because a stupid bitch couldn't keep her legs closed! This is bull shit!"

"Calm down Jack. Please."

"I'm sorry Matt. It's just that this is not right. They're punishing you and Shane when it's their fault. Oh I'm definitely going to RAW and Mr. Copeland and I are going to have a little conversation."

"Oh and how do you plan on getting in?"

"That's easy. You're coming with me!"


	2. Privacy

Oh I'm definitely going to RAW and Mr. Copeland and I are going to have a little conversation."

"Oh and how do you plan on getting in?"

"That's easy. You're coming with me!"

"No Jack. I can't go there, I'm sorry, I just can't."

"Matt, don't let everyone think that your world has stopped since you're no longer with Amy. You've got true friends that you can visit while you're there. Besides I may need you there to pull me off of him. Amy's lucky this time as she won't be there for me to get a hold of, but when I do, God help her."

It was then when my phone rang. Who would be calling me? I get over to the caller id and am not actually surprised to see Jeff's number on my display.

"It's Jeff."

"You know what to tell him."

"Yep, I do."

I hit the button which answers the call on speaker phone like usual. If I didn't do that, he would definitely think something was up.

"What's up Nero?"

"Jack, how are you?"

"I could be doing better, how bout you?"

"Well, I could be fucking fantastic if I could find my brother. It's like he's disappeared off the face of the planet. Shane and I neither one can reach him; he's not at the house or at Dad's. I am trying to narrow down places he could be."

"He wouldn't just up and leave without telling anyone. That isn't Matt."

"The last few days though, he hasn't been the same Matt, Jack. Do you know what happened down here?"

"Oh I know. Believe me, that skank has an ass kicking coming whenever I see her again. She's lucky she doesn't get a bullet between her eyes."

"Calm down killer. If you hear anything from him, can you call me?"

"You'll be the second one I call."

"Why am I the second?"

"That's because Shane will be the first!"

"Ha ha, you were always sweet on Shane weren't you?"

"No I was not! I will call though if I hear from him."

"Can you please tell him that we're very worried about him and just want to make sure he's okay?"

"I will do."

"Thanks Jack. Love ya! Take care of yourself."

"To you the same."

As I pressed the button again to end the call, I looked over to Matt.

"Thanks."

"It was not a problem. I understand the need for privacy every once in a while. That's why chose I work from home remember?"

"I'll go to Raleigh with you next week. Until then, if it's okay with you, I'd like to stay here."

"Mattie, what did I tell you? You could move in here if you wanted and I not give a damn."

"It's okay Jack. When we go back, I'll stay there."

"Are you sure?"

"You were the one who said the world doesn't stop because things are over between me and Amy."

"Yea I did, didn't I? You look exhausted. You want to go to sleep?"

"Well, considering I haven't slept since Amy moved out I have every reason to be tired."

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

"Well, when I've been used to sleeping in a bed with another person for so long, it's next to impossible for me to sleep alone."

"You won't have to worry about lack of sleep, I promise. Come on."

With that, I led Matt down the hall to my room. When we first enter the room, I get a questioning look.

"And how is this supposed to help me get to sleep?"

"You're not going to sleep alone tonight Matt."

"Jack…"

"No arguments Hardy. You're going to get some rest, and if I can help, then I'm going to."

With that, I pulled the covers back on my queen size bed and climbed in. After a few minutes of assumingly debating with himself, Matt finally climbs in the bed. We both just lay there for a minute when he propped himself up on his elbow. He then brushed the hair out of my face, and looked into my eyes for the first time since his plane had landed.

"Thanks Jack, for everything."

"You're very welcome Mattie."

Finally Matt fell asleep. I lay there for the longest time watching him thinking of everything he had to have gone through in the last 72 hours. His heart had been ripped out and stomped on by two of the people whom meant most to him in his life. Yea this bitch was definitely getting her ass kicked next time I seen her.


	3. Secrets

I dozed off, and woke up early the next morning. I never have slept that long in my life. I guess with my getting woken up yesterday and everything else going on, my body needed to recoup. When I finally untangled myself from Matt's arms, I went to the kitchen so I could make some breakfast. About an hour later, Matt came stumbling through the hallway right as I was sitting his customary morning glass of orange juice on the dinning table. As he took his seat, he waved his hand in the air, as he wasn't completely awake yet.

"Morning to you, too. Sleep well?"

"Better than I have been."

"Good. Bacon, eggs and French toast right?"

"Jack you don't have to…"

"Bacon, eggs, and French toast right?"

"Bacon, eggs, and French toast."

"Coming right up."

Within 5 minutes, I sat the plate in front of him. Apparently he hadn't eaten either as he almost inhaled everything including the plate.

"Were you hungry Mattie?"

"A little…"

"So what do you want to do today?"

"Well, I need to go to the gym. Then I am at your mercy Jack."

"OK, we can do the gym, and then we'll decide where to go from there."

"Don't you have to work today?"

"Actually, I don't have anything due to the office until Friday. So yes I will have to work some this week, but not everyday."

"You mean we actually get to hang out?"

"Yes Matt, we get to veg out. It's rare isn't it?"

"Too rare, especially since you started dating Robert."

"Robert and I aren't together anymore Matt."

"Sweetie, I'm sorry. When did you two part ways?"

"Right before I came down a few weeks ago, he and I got into an argument. He wanted to control me, and you know that isn't going to happen."

"Control you how Jack?"

"It's nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about Matt. This week will be for you to forget your problems, not to worry about mine."

"You'll tell me sooner or later. You always do."

We went to the gym and worked out for a few hours, and then decided to go to the movies checking out the Rock's new movie "Be Cool". It was absolutely hilarious. It even got Matt to laugh which was my main goal. After that, I went to run a few errands and we went shopping. I had some things I had to pick up. There was this beautiful music box in a window display of one of the stores in the mall. I wanted to get it, but it was WAY much more than I could afford. On the way home, Matt brought up Robert again, and again I brushed him off. There's no way in hell any of them will ever find out the real reason Robert and I split. Not if I can help it anyhow. I could tell Matt was getting back to his old self somewhat when he offered to cook dinner once we arrived back at the house. Once we ate, I ask Matt if he felt like going out tonight. I have a friend that owns a club here in D.C. and whenever the boys are in town, we all usually drop by and hang out for a while. Matt actually accepted my invitation. As we walked into the club, I immediately ran over to the bar and got us some drinks while Matt found us a table. We just sat around bullshitting when one of my favorite songs of the moment Nivea's "Okay" came on. I looked at Matt with pleading eyes and he just grabbed my hand. Normally, Matt Hardy does not dance. So it shocked me when he offered to join me. We finally found a spot on the floor and began to dance. When the song finished, Matt took my hand and led me back over to our table. We had a few more drinks, danced a little more, and then decided to call it a night. When we arrived back at my place, we immediately chose to go to bed. I was so buzzed from the alcohol that as I was taking my clothes off to get ready for bed, I didn't even care Matt was in the room. Obviously Matt saw something that alarmed him because the next thing I knew, he stormed over to me and looked at my left leg. Drunk or not, I knew at that point I was in some trouble.

"Jack, what happened to your leg?"

"Nothing…"

"Now is not the time to play games with me Jacqueline. Tell me what happened."

"I'm sorry Matt, I can't. I know that's not what you want to hear, but I can't and I'm sorry."

The next thing I knew, Matt's fingertips were running over the bandage that was on my leg. The one thing I had fought so hard to hide from all of them while I was down there was discovered by the one person I wanted to see it the least. He noticed that the bandage needed to be changed, so he went and grabbed my first aid kit from the bathroom. He returned and began pulling at the tape. He removed the bandage and gasped at what he saw.

"Are you going to tell me what the hell happened or are we going to have to play the guessing game?"

At this point, I couldn't even look in Matt's direction as I tried to hide the tears threatening to spill over my cheeks. Matt grasped my chin and turned my face to him.

"Please tell me. We get through things together remember?"

"Matt, I can't tell you this. Please don't make me tell you."

"Jack, is this the reason you and Robert broke up?"

The second he finished the question, I had to close my eyes as I knew I couldn't look at him. The minute he would have peered into my eyes, he would have seen all the answers he needed.

"It's my reminder of something I can never have is all."

"Oh no, you're not getting off that easy. Besides if that's all it was, you won't mind telling me what happened."

"Mattie…I just can't!"

With that, I wrenched away from his grasp, throwing on a loose pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I went outside and sat on one of the lawn chairs in my front yard. Matt didn't follow me as he knows when I'm upset, just to leave me be. I sat in the lawn chair for a few minutes crying, and then it started to rain. As I felt the first few drops land on my exposed skin, I made no effort to move. Even after the bottom fell out, I still sat there crying my heart out. There was no way Matt or anyone else was ever going to know the reason I will have a new scar on my body; at least not if I can help it. After about an hour in the rain, Matt came outside. Once he realized it was raining, he ran over to me, scooping me up in his arms and took me back into the house. He carried me to my bedroom and sat on the bed. The next thing I know, he's pulling my arms up in an attempt to remove my shirt which is by now soaked. He also removes my shorts and leaves me in my boy shorts and bra. He then gets in the bed and pulls me to him.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you like that. You don't have to tell me what happened until you are ready to. I'm so sorry Jack."

By this time, I had turned over so I was facing him. I placed my index finger to his lips and began speaking. It was my voice this time that was barely above a whisper.

"Mattie, it's okay. No harm done, I promise."

With that, I leaned up and pop kissed him. It had been forever since I had done that. The main reason I had stopped was because of Amy's constant bitching about someone else kissing her man. Then was the first time I saw a genuine smile appear on Matt's face since he had arrived. No forced attempts to crack a smile, no soft sad chuckle, a genuine smile. I placed my hand on his cheek, letting it linger for a minute, and then finally removing it. I finally curled up against Matt, hoping to go to sleep. There was also the hope he wouldn't press the Robert issue anymore. I just couldn't tell him something that would break his heart even worse than Amy had ever dreamed of doing. That was my forte: always protect my friends, screw everything else, including myself.


	4. Going Home & Raw Part 1

Thank God, the rest of the week went off without a hitch. Soon Monday rolled around, and we flew back to NC. As soon as we left the airport, I knew instantly where I was driving. As I pulled into Shane's driveway, I noticed something that surprised me. That being that Jeff's car was there. I don't know how ready Matt was to face his brother, but at least we were killing two birds with one stone. Matt slightly hesitated before getting out of the car. I grabbed Matt's hand, but said nothing. He slightly squeezed back implying that he understood what I was trying to say. We got out of the car, going up to Shane's front door. After knocking a few times, Shane finally answered, with a look of shock on his face.

"Look who I found."

"Jack! Matt! Where the hell have you been? We've been worried sick!"

"I'm sorry man."

"Sorry? That's all you've got to say after being MIA for a week, not telling anyone…"

"Sugar! Lay off of him alright?"

"Come on in."

This was the first time I had ever seen the look of dread on Matt's face when entering Shane's house. I turned to face Matt, and we locked eyes. This was the usual way of communication between Matt and me when we didn't want the rest of the world to hear us. By the look he gave me, he was saying that if things get too out of hand inside, he would want to go. I blinked my eyes once for yes, and he did the same. We walked into the door, and no sooner as we got 2 steps inside did Jeff come running over, taking Matt into his arms.

"Thank God you're okay. I don't care where you've been as long as you are back home safe."

"I missed you too bro. I wish everyone felt the same as you."

As Matt said this, his eyes flickered over to Shane.

"Matt, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to go off on you, I was just worried."

"It's okay Sugar. I just needed time to myself."

"Jack! What are you doing here?"

"I love you too Nero. You just now notice I'm in the room."

"Jack…"

"It's all good Nero. I understand. I came into town to see the show if you guys didn't mind."

"I don't have a match Jack. Plus, if anyone could have gotten a hold of Matt, we would have been able to tell him."

"Tell him what?"

"Vince called the other day and wanted me to let you know that they think it would be in the best interests of all involved that you didn't go to the show tonight man."

"Nice, even more of a reason for me to kick Copeland's ass."

"Jack…"

"Man, that's a lost cause. Don't even try to fight that battle, because you're going to lose. Even if I don't go to RAW, which I'm still debating over, she'll just use your name. You know security is on a first name basis with her as much as she comes to our shows."

"We may have to keep her on a leash, or tie her down to keep her still, but she can go."

Matt noticed the slight flinch when Shane mentioned tying me down, but decided he would save his comment for later. Finally, Matt and I decided to head back to his house, and Shane said he would pick me up on his way to the arena. Since he was not wrestling, as long as he was there two hours before bell time, he was fine. As we drove back to Matt's, I kept feeling like someone was watching me. Every time I looked over in his direction, only to find that he was looking straight ahead. When we finally got home, he unlocked the door and brought all of the luggage into the house.

"You know I could have carried my own bags Mattie."

"It's no biggie Jack."

"You're lucky I like you, otherwise I would have slugged you by now."

"Jack, you're ever the tomboy."

"Don't you dare forget it either Sub-Surge."

"Just wait."

"Wait for what? I won our last match remember?"

"I don't think I could forget because you always seem to remind me."

"Just making sure you don't."

With that, I went to get a shower. As soon as I got my bra and panties on, I hear Matt knocking on the bedroom door. After I give him the okay, he comes in and walks over standing behind me. He wraps his arms around my waist, settling his chin on my shoulder, and we look into each other's eyes through the mirror.

"I just thought maybe you would need a little help with putting the new bandage on."

"That would be nice, thank you. Now where do you plan on going dressed like that?"

"I'll be around."

"Mattie…"

"You'll never see me. Hardly anyone will."

"Are you sure?"

"The world doesn't stop turning… Plus I want to visit my friends, and no blonde haired Canadian jackass is going to stop me."

"That's my boy! I knew I would rub off on you sooner or later."

"Ha."

Once the bandage was finished and I was dressed, we went into the living room and watched TV until Shane arrived. As Shane sat in his car out front, blowing his horn to let me know he had arrived, I hugged Matt, pulling him to me.

"You be careful tonight, okay?"

"The same to you Jack. Try to behave for me please as I don't want to have to bail you out of jail tonight."

I patted his cheek, smiling at him.

"I'll try Mattie, but only for you."

With that, I grabbed my things and ran out the door. The second I sat in the car, I looked over at Shane and he had a stupid ass smirk on his face.

"What the hell are you smirking at? Did you just get laid or something on the way here?"

"He doesn't even know does he?"

"Who doesn't know what?"

"Matt, he doesn't know."

"Matt doesn't know what Sugar?"

"Everyone's always thought you and I were going to hook up, but they're dead wrong. Aren't they Jack?"

"If you're implying what I think you are Sugar, you would be best to keep your mouth shut. Otherwise I will find a way to shut it permanently."

"Yes ma'am."

The rest of the drive was silent as neither one of us said a word. We got to the arena and I was immediately bombarded by the divas, as I had made friends with several of them on my previous visits. The one thing I had forgotten about was the fact that I promised them they could make me over the next time I was at a show. Stacy and Trish drag me by my wrists over to Jan, the make up artist and literally shove me in the chair. They actually chose to leave me outfit of choice alone for once as they liked what I had chosen to wear for the evening. Thirty minutes later, I look in the mirror amazed at what Jan was able to do. I finally am able to excuse myself from the divas once I promise I will hang out with them before I leave. I make my way to the dressing room where Shane told me he would be. As I walk in, the guys immediately recognize me and great me with hugs and wolf whistles. When my eyes finally met Shane's, his nearly bugged out of his head as no one had ever seen me dressed up.

"See something you like Sugar?"

"Oh…My…God!"

"We can chalk up one as to getting the reaction I was looking for."

"Uh yea, I guess you can. Has he seen you yet?"

"It's more like the other way around as I was forewarned I may not. But to answer your question, it's no I haven't."

"Remind me to thank the Divas. Now if we could only convince you to keep it up."

"Sugar! I thought you loved me for me! Superficial little green haired twerp."

"Jack, you know better. It's just I've never seen you like this. I happen to think you look very pretty."

"Thank you."


	5. Raw Part 2

The evening went on, and still no sign of Matt. Damn, usually I am one of the only ones able to find him when he's "hiding". I am in the dressing room with Shane watching the monitor when Christy introduces the person training her. I know those opening notes anywhere. Please don't tell me she's here. Oh my God, she's here. As soon as she appears on the monitor, I bolt out of the dressing room towards the gorilla position. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where I'm going, and within seconds, Shane is hot on my heels.

"Jack…"

"No Sugar! You guys thought I was kidding when I promised to kick her ass the next time I saw her. Yea, I originally thought it would be later on down the line as she is supposed to be out injured. However, the way I see it, the sooner, the better."

Shane knew then, there was no hope in talking me out of it, and took of like a shot, to where only God knew. I sat at the curtain at the bottom of the stairs, knowing that she wouldn't see me when she came through. As I finally hear her coming down the stairs, I can't help but smile evilly knowing that this bitch is about to get what's coming to her. She doesn't see me, but about after 5 steps, she sure hears me. All I have to say is one word, and she freezes in place.

"Amy!"

"Jack, before you say anything I want to explain."

"Explain what Amy? How when your loyal and loving boyfriend was home recuperating from major knee surgery, you were all over the country spreading your legs for the Canadian jackass? How instead of being a woman and admitting you were wrong when you got caught, you continued the lie? How you could even claim that you are in love with a MARRIED man? I don't want to hear your excuses Amy. For you to throw away 6 years just for a romp in the hay makes me completely sick."

"This is between Matt and me."

"That's where you're wrong Red. You're oh so wrong. I have never said a word when you've tried to control his life and friendships, for as long as he was happy, I could deal. You should know by now that when you screw over one of my friends, there's hell to pay."

"Jack, I don't want to fight you."

"It's a little too late for that I'm afraid."

With that, I pounced on Amy. The only thing she could do was try to cover her self up. I was so busy with the task at hand, I never saw someone come up from behind and grab me. I turned my head, and saw it was none other than Copeland. Everyone thinks he has the most feral grin, but the one that appeared on my face topped that tenfold. I threw my leg back, and hit my intended target as his arms released me. As I turned around, I saw that he was still standing and kicked him below the belt again which sent him to his knees. Then I spin kicked him in the head. I returned my attention to Amy as she was trying to get up from the earlier assault. I tackled her back down to the ground, my hands wrapping around her throat. Somewhere in the back of my mind, it did register that due to the pressure I was applying that Amy wasn't able to breathe. However, it wasn't enough to make me stop.

"You hurt him, now I kill you. Isn't that how the game is played Amy?"

I heard footsteps that sounded so distant due to the blood rushing through my ears. I didn't know that in fact they were in fact right behind us. The next thing I know, there are hands on my shoulders and a voice in my ear I could hear through everything else going on.

"Jack, you've got to let her go."

"No, she hurt you Mattie."

"I know sweetie, but you have to let her go. She can't breathe."

"She won't hurt you anymore."

Matt suddenly removed his hands from my shoulders, grabbed my chin and made me look him in the eyes.

"Jack, please let go. Please, for me."

The look in Matt's eyes was enough for me to loosen my grip. The second Matt knew I had, he scooped me up in his arms dragging me away from Amy. I looked over his shoulder to see Amy grabbing her throat gasping for breath.

"You're lucky he saved your ass bitch!"

When Matt finally found a room that was empty, he carried me into it. After placing me on my feet, Matt went over and locked the door. Why am I getting the feeling this is fixing to turn ugly? If Matt knew how much I didn't like being trapped somewhere, he'd unlock the door. I'll be damned if I'm going to. Matt sat in the chair with his head in his hands for what seemed like eternity, which in reality being only a few minutes. I couldn't stand the silence, and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Jack, don't."

"Mattie…?"

"Jack, just leave me alone for a minute!"

"(tearily) I can't."

"Why?"

"The door is locked. Against the rules."

"You can unlock the door if you want to Jack."

"No, never unlock the door. If I unlock the door, I'll get in trouble."

"Jacqueline…"

"Matt, please unlock the door."

"Not until…"

"(Sobbing) I can't do it! Matt, unlock the god damn door!"

With that, I curled into a fetal position continuing to cry. Damn it, I'm so fucked up mentally. I know that I will eventually have to tell Matt what's going on, but part of me fears that I'll lose his friendship once he learns the truth. I know he's staring at me right now, but I can't dare look at him. He finally gets up going to unlock the door. I waited until he came back over to the chair before I finally get up and literally run out of the room. I was on my way to find Shane when I ran into someone as obviously I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I was almost hyperventilating, between the fight, crying, and running, my asthma was acting up. As soon as I heard the voice of my brick wall, my eyes shot up thankful of who it was.

"I'm sorry Jack."

"Shane…"

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"Matt…door was locked…couldn't get out. Wanna go home."

"It's okay baby. I'll take you back to Matt's."

"NO! Can't go back…stay with you…please."

"Where's you're inhaler Jack?"

"Purse….locker room…purple."

"Come on baby, let's go get it, then we'll go home."

With that, Shane lifted me up in his arms and quickly made his way back to the locker room. As we entered, eyes of concern were immediately upon us as they could tell something was wrong. Shane sat on one of the benches with me still in his arms.

"Maven, hand me her purse. She's having an asthma attack."

"You've got it man. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Just get me that bag man."

Maven did as he was asked, and Shane was soon shoving the inhaler in my mouth. I held up three fingers as I knew he would need to know how many times to spray it. With in a few minutes, my breathing started to return to normal.

"Baby, you feeling any better?"

"Yes, a little. Thank you Sugar."

"No problem Citizen Jack, anytime."

"Can we go home now?"

We gathered the rest of our things, and got into Shane's car.


	6. Telling Shane the Truth

The trip to Smithfield was a quiet one. The second I pulled out the stashed pack of Marlboro 100 menthol cigarettes and lit one up, I heard Shane's breathe hitch in his throat as I had quit 2 years ago. He knew that if I was smoking menthols I was severely stressed. Yes I know, smoking with asthma is stupid. When we walked in the door, Shane sat down on the couch and patted the place beside him. When I joined him on the couch, he put his arm around me and held me close.

"Sugar, can I tell you something?"

"Anything, baby."

"You have to promise that you won't tell anyone, especially Matt."

"I think I can do that."

"In order to tell you, I need to show you. You mind letting me have a change of clothes?"

"I'll be right back."

Within a minute, Shane had come back with one of his wife beaters and a pair of his boxers. I excused myself and returned within a few minutes. I finally returned to my place on the couch. When Shane went to sit down, I stopped him.

"Wait. I need to show you first."

I lifted up the leg of his boxers and showed him the bandage that Matt had placed there earlier. Of course, Shane quickly moved my hand and removed the bandage so he could see what I was covering. The second he saw the stitches, his face paled not daring to imagine what could have happened to me. He replaced the bandage and sat down on the couch pulling me into his arms, his face buried in my hair.

"Sugar, there's something I need to tell you. I just need you to listen, and I will answer your questions later."

"Okay."

"What I just showed you happened 3 weeks ago before I came down here. It was the culmination of things that have happened the last few months that no one knows about. It was my intention to keep it that way. That was until now as I basically can't keep dealing with the secrets anymore."

With that, I light up another cigarette. Shane reached over to the end table handing me my ashtray. The thing was originally bought for me so that I would have one whenever I came to visit. When I quit, Shane decided to keep it around, just in case. I don't think he'd ever thought I would use it again.

"One question Jack and I'll let you continue."

"OK, shoot."

"When did you start smoking again?"

"Right before I came here. Shannon knows I do, but he was sworn to secrecy to keep it from the rest of you. He doesn't know the reason why I started back though."

"Why did you start back?"

"Six months ago, things began going bad between Robert and me. He began acting strange whenever I would mention you guys or it came time for one of my monthly visits. As time went on, things got worse as every time before I would leave to go to the airport, he would start an argument over it. I tried talking to him about it. I wanted to figure out why it was such a bad thing for me to come visit the only family I have. He admitted that he was jealous of the relationships I have with you guys, especially with Matt. He also said that he didn't want me coming down here as much anymore. That was the straw that broke the camel's back as you know I've been coming back here since before he and I got together. I lost my cool, and told him that I was coming down here whether he wanted me to or not. Apparently he didn't like that answer. He grabbed me by my hair throwing me across the room. I tried to run from him, and reached for the door which was locked. As I was trying to get the lock open, he grabbed me and flung me over the couch. It was that night it was beaten into me not to unlock a door ever. That's why I freaked out on Matt earlier. I've become very claustrophobic in the last month. I can't even unlock a door to save my life. Believe me I've tried several times. I had finally had enough of everything that was going on, and decided that I wanted out. I packed my bags and bought a plane ticket here for the next day as I was getting out no matter what this time. I called the cops before I even went to face him as I was that certain things would get ugly. Sure enough as I descended the stairs, the world war began. He threw up Matt at me, asking me if I was in love with him. I told him the truth that yes I was in love with Matt, and even if he didn't love me the same, he would never hurt me like Robert had. After hearing this, Robert walked into the kitchen and immediately grabbed a knife out of the block. When I saw this, I went for the front door. My hands were shaking so violently that even if I could have grasped the lock I wouldn't have been able to get it open. Robert grabbed me by my hair screaming at me how much of an unfaithful bitch I was and threw me to the floor. I kicked at him and actually landed a few. One knocked him backwards a few steps and I finally tried to crawl away. He grabbed a hold to one of my feet. I tried turning over in the attempt to kick him again. As I tried to, the knife entered in my left leg. During all this, we had never heard the cops arriving or knocking at the door. As I screamed out from the pain, the cops burst in the door. This distracted Robert enough where I could crawl away. They were able to get the knife away from him, and get him in cuffs. When they were outside trying to load him in the car, he managed to get one of the guns away from the male officer at the scene. His partner, a wonderful lady named Sgt. Malone, grabbed her gun and killed him right on the spot. At first, I wasn't sure of everything as I was still on the floor inside. Once Sgt. Malone came back inside, I instantly was relieved as I knew then it wasn't Robert who had the gun. They took me to the hospital and gave me a total of 18 stitches, 12 in and 6 out. Sgt. Malone was with me the entire time. They released me the next day as I promised I had someone to take care of me. It really wasn't a lie, because I was planning on flying out later that afternoon anyhow. I called a cab and had them drive me to my house. From there, I packed the luggage, made a quick trip to the drug store for bandages and the like, and got to the airport in just enough time to make my flight. Matt knows about my leg, I just haven't told him about anything that has happened. He tried to make me tell him, but how do I tell the man that I love he was the reason I was hurt? He'll feel so guilty for something he has no reason to feel guilty about."

"Why didn't you come to us for help baby?"

"You know me Sugar. Even if I should, I hardly ever ask for help. I try to protect everyone I love from everything, except I don't protect myself. I was ready to die that day and figured that I probably would before I made it out of that house alive. Although now, I wish I was dead because I have to hurt the people I love the most."

"I don't want to ever hear you say that again. Do you hear me?"

"That's why I can't even tell Matt what happened."

"Jack, you will have to give him some explanation as to why you freaked out earlier. Yea, it may hurt him, but it would hurt him more that you weren't honest with him about it."

"Sugar, can I stay here tonight?"

"You know better baby. You can stay here any time and for as long as you like."

After arguing for a few minutes as to who was going to sleep on the couch, Shane led me to his bedroom. He made sure I was tucked in, and then pulled a chair beside the bed sat there till I fell asleep.


	7. Telling Matt the Truth

After arguing for a few minutes as to who was going to sleep on the couch, Shane led me to his bedroom. He made sure I was tucked in, and then pulled a chair beside the bed sat there till I fell asleep. That's where he was until he heard a knock at the door. Shane was almost certain as to who was at the door. He had left word at the arena with the few people he knew would see Matt to tell him they were leaving. When Shane opened the front door, he saw the tired and worried eyes of Matt staring back at him. Shane didn't say a word, as he opened the front door far enough so Matt could enter.

"Is she here? I can't find her anywhere, and I'm worried sick Sugar!"

"Lower your voice. She's here, asleep in my room."

"Thank God. What happened?"

"She's had a rough night to say the least. What did you say to upset her so much?"

"I didn't say anything. I shut her out."

"You shut her out, and you locked her in a room? No wonder she got upset enough it threw her into an attack."

"She had an attack? Is she okay?"

"You want to see for yourself?"

Shane led Matt to his room. As Matt looked at the bed and saw the shape I was in, he ran his fingers through his long hair.

"What happened to her Sugar? She's changed so much since she came down last."

"You'll have to take it up with her. She finally broke down tonight and talked to me, but she made me promise not to tell you."

"Can't open the door. Against the rules."

Both men's eyes were on me as they were quick to notice I was having a nightmare. Shane started towards me, but Matt stopped him.

"Let me wake her up. I want to talk to her anyways."

"Matt, take it easy on her, will you?"

"I will. Close the door on your way out?"

"No can do man, sorry."

"I wanted to talk to her in private Sugar,"

"Matt, she's claustrophobic now."

"Jesus, that's why she freaked out."

"Partially, yes; partially, no."

With that, Shane walked out of the room. Matt gently shook me awake. The minute I awoke, I scooted back up in the bed, knees pulled up to my chest. Matt saw something in my eyes he had never seen directed at him before: fear.

"Jack, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I'd never hurt you."

"…"

"Jack, please say something."

"You locked the door. I couldn't get out."

"I know."

"You screamed at me and told me to get out, yet you locked the door."

"I'm sorry Jack."

"You hurt me."

I pulled out a menthol cigarette and lit it up. Matt seen this and a look of disbelief appeared on his face. He quickly snatched it out of my hand which I didn't take too kindly to.

"You might as well give it back, as I have an entire pack that I _dare_ you to try and take away from me Matthew."

"Jack, why are you shutting me out?"

"Paybacks are a bitch, and so am I."

"I came over here to talk to you, and you are going to be like this."

Shane had heard what was going on, and decided to step in before we had a similar episode to earlier tonight. I saw him appear in the doorway with a pleading look in his eyes.

"Jack, either you tell him or I will. I'd think he would much rather hear this from you than me. Remember our conversation earlier?"

"Yes I do. I hope you remember why I said I didn't want to tell him either."

With that, Shane walked into the room and sat on the bed beside me, placing his hand on my cheek.

"Baby, you have to tell him. You have to quit trying to protect him, all of us. It's our turn to protect you Jacqueline."

"I don't want to hurt him Sugar."

"You're hurting him right now Jack. You're right to be angry at him for shutting you out, but do you think its right for you to do the same thing to him? I know there's still a big part of your heart alive in there, otherwise you wouldn't be so hell-bent on protecting him. You can see that you're hurting him"

"I'd rather push him away than hurt him like this."

Matt sat there watching the exchange between Shane and me, and realized this had to be something major. He decided to keep quiet and see how it would play out.

"Jack, you know that I will tell him. Which way do you want this to happen?"

"Stay with me?"

"I'll stay as long as you need baby. You've got to tell him everything though."

With a defeated sigh, I released the death grip I had around my knees and let Shane maneuver me to where he could hold me in his arms. Before I began speaking, Shane whispered in my ear.

"You won't lose him baby. I promise. If you do, I'll kick his ass."

I took a deep breath, and then began.

"You've wanted to know what happened to my leg since that night last week. I was stabbed Matt."

"What? By who? When?"

"Please let me finish. It's hard enough to tell you this as is. Six months ago, Robert and I started having issues when it came to you guys. Finally when I sat down with him and tried to talk about why he was so jealous of it, and especially my relationship with you, he told me he didn't want me to come down here as much anymore. Of course I didn't like this, and told him I was going down here whether he liked it or not. We started fighting, and I went for the door which was locked. That night, he beat me nearly to the point of unconsciousness so I would learn not to open that or any door when it was locked ever again. When I finally had reached my breaking point, things got really ugly. I had packed my bags, purchased plane tickets, and called the police as I knew what was probable to happen. Sure enough as I descended the stairs, the world war began. He threw you up at me, asking me if I was in love with you. I told him the truth that yes I was in love with you, and even if you didn't love me the same, you would never hurt me like Robert had. After hearing this, Robert walked into the kitchen and immediately grabbed a knife out of the block. When I saw this, I went for the front door. My hands were shaking so violently that even if I could have grasped the lock I wouldn't have been able to get it open. Robert grabbed me by my hair screaming at me how much of an unfaithful bitch I was and threw me to the floor. I kicked at him and actually landed a few. One knocked him backwards a few steps and I finally tried to crawl away. He grabbed a hold to one of my feet. I tried turning over in the attempt to kick him again. As I tried to, the knife entered in my left leg. During all this, we had never heard the cops arriving or knocking at the door. As I screamed out from the pain, the cops burst in the door. This distracted Robert enough where I could crawl away. They were able to get the knife away from him, and get him in cuffs. When they were outside trying to load him in the car, he managed to get one of the guns away from the male officer at the scene. His partner, a wonderful lady named Sgt. Malone, grabbed her gun and killed him right on the spot. At first, I wasn't sure of everything as I was still on the floor inside. Once Sgt. Malone came back inside, I instantly was relieved as I knew then it wasn't Robert who had the gun. They took me to the hospital and gave me a total of 18 stitches, 12 in and 6 out. Sgt. Malone was with me the entire time. They released me the next day as I promised I had someone to take care of me. It really wasn't a lie, because I was planning on flying out later that afternoon anyhow. I called a cab and had them drive me to my house. From there, I packed the luggage, made a quick trip to the drug store for bandages and the like, and got to the airport in just enough time to make my flight."

"Jack…"

"Shane, let me go."

Shane did as I had asked, and I quickly made my exit out of the room. Neither man made an attempt to follow me. Matt sat there in a stunned silence, while Shane just sat in silence.


	8. Running Away

"Sugar…"

"She felt as if she was protecting us, especially you. She knew you'd feel guilty about it, even though you had no reason to. Do you now how much I would give to have her love me as much as she loves you? She was willing to die to get here, to get to you."

With that, Shane left the room, going to look for me. He didn't have to look too far. As he walked out of the front door to the house, he saw movement in the tree and the wind wasn't blowing. He also saw the step ladder beside the trunk. Normally, I would have been able to climb this tree on my own, but the muscles in my leg haven't completely healed yet. Shane made the small walk over and climbed up the ladder to join me. He noticed immediately that I was crying and took me into his arms.

"I'm sorry Sugar."

"What have you to be sorry for baby?"

"I know it had to hurt you sitting in there hearing me tell Matt I love him."

"The only thing that matters to me right now is you being happy. Yea, that may mean with Matt, but I'll deal."

"You shouldn't have to deal."

"Jacqueline, listen to me. No matter what's happened, you'll never lose me."

"Sugar, I accepted a long time ago that Matt would never love me the way I love him. I'm just content on being his friend. Yes, I greatly value his friendship, and would be lost without it; however, I feel the same about you. I just hope this hasn't cost me one or both of my two closest friends."

"Baby, we need to get you inside. It's freezing out here!"

Shane helped me out of the tree and we went in the house. Matt was nowhere to be found. I didn't think anything of it, as due to the severity of things I had just laid on him. A few minutes later, we heard the corvette start up. I bolted out the front door and got outside. Matt and I locked eyes for a minute, and with his eyes, he apologized to me. After that, he wasted no time peeling out of Shane's driveway. I collapsed on the porch and wept, as Matt looked back one last time and then continued driving. Shane was quick to scoop me up in his arms and take me inside. As I sat there in Shane's arms and cried, he grabbed my purse off of the end table where I had left it earlier and grabbed my inhaler. He could tell by my breathing, that another attack was probable. He placed it in my mouth and I cooperated. A few minutes later, I finally quieted down. I sat there numb as my mind processed everything that had happened. I looked up at Shane and saw the worried look on his face.

"It's time for me to go Sugar."

"Your flight doesn't leave till tomorrow."

"I'll get it changed."

"Please stay baby. Don't leave because of him."

"I'm not. I'm leaving because it's time for me to go. It's time for me to stop hurting the people I care about the most."

Shane knew there was no arguing with me once I got something in my head. However, he was going to give it the old college try.

"Jack, look at me. Just stay here for tonight. You don't even have any clothes to wear. I'll go to Matt's and get your things. Please stay here and I'll take you to the airport tomorrow morning."

"Sugar…"

"Jack, I don't want to hear any arguments. You're going to stay here and at least get some sleep."

"I don't want to hurt you Sugar."

"You'll hurt me if you leave right now."

"Okay. I'll stay."

Shane threw his shoes on, and headed to Matt's. I sat there and just thought the entire time he was gone. I know I had to go through a half pack of cigarettes. I had no idea of the conversation going on in Vass.

"Sugar…"

"She's at my place. I just came by to get her things, and then I'll be out of your way."

"Don't be like this man."

"Be like what? You left her. She poured her heart out to you, and you leave her without so much a word to her. Do you know how much that hurt her? Do you? No you don't!"

"Shane, you don't understand."

"Understand what? The one thing she was most certain of, she's not so sure of anymore. She was trying to protect you! She was willing to die for you! She knew once she got here, you would never hurt her! You know, she didn't expect anything except your friendship and your understanding, yet that was too much to ask!"

"Sugar…"

"Save it. If you have anything to say right now, you best be saying it to her. Otherwise I don't want to hear a word."

With that, Shane grabbed the rest of my things and was ready to walk out Matt's front door when Matt stopped him.

"Tell her I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say but I'm sorry."

"Sometimes sorry just isn't good enough Matt."

Shane threw the stuff in his car and pulled out of Matt's driveway, heading back towards Smithfield and to me. When he reached the house, I sat on the front porch in one of his sweatshirts and the thin boxers he had given me from earlier. We carried my things inside, and then both of us went into the bedroom to try and get some sleep. There were no arguments over who would sleep where; it was just both of us crawling into his bed in desperate need of rest. Shane held me in his arms, and for the first time, I felt completely content. Well as at least as content as I could possibly be at the time. The next afternoon came a lot sooner than either of us wanted it to. We were quickly on our way to the airport. As Shane stood with me by the gate, I reached into my bag and pulled out the CD I had burned for Matt last night. It only had one song on it, but it summarized everything I was feeling at the moment. It was Michelle Branch's "Goodbye to You". Along with it, was enclosed a small letter, which I told Shane was for Matt's eyes only. The announcement came over the P.A. for the final boarding call of my flight to Washington, D.C. I grabbed on to Shane, not really wanting to let go, but I knew I would have to get back to my life there sooner rather than later.

"Thank you Sugar, for everything."

"You don't have to thank me for anything baby."

"Yea, I do. Make sure you deliver that for me."

"Will do Jack."

"I'll see you in the funny papers."

With that, I got on that plane destined for home. Wow, I never thought I would actually call D.C. home, but after these last few days, it would make sense. I didn't know when or if I would ever get on a plane to fly back to Cameron. I would see Shane or Shannon the next time they were up here for a show, so that wasn't an issue. I couldn't stand facing Matt right now, if ever again.


	9. Matt tries to make things right

The next three weeks went by fairly quickly as I was having to play catch up from my little vacations as of late. I was actually sitting at my computer working on a project my bosses had given me to do in my spare time when my phone rang. I looked on the speaker phone and saw it was Shane's cell phone number. I hit the speaker phone button answering the call that would change my life forever.

"What's up Sugar?"

"Baby, are you sitting down?"

"I'm working on the Rothwell project, so yea; my butt's glued to the computer chair at least for a bit. What's wrong?"

"It's Shannon, Jack."

As I heard Shane say Shannon's name in that tone of voice, I instantly panicked. Shannon was my little brother. The one I always took up for when the others picked on him when we were kids. God help me, if something happened to him…

"Did he get injured? What happened?"

"He's injured, but not from anything in the ring. Jack, he got hit by a drunk driver on the way home tonight."

"What the hell happened Shane?"

"He and Matt had dropped by the RAW house show in Fayetteville to see everyone. Matt decided to follow Shannon home. From my understanding, Matt was in front of him, and Shannon passed him. The drunk driver hit him head on."

"Please tell me Shannon was driving the Hummer. Please Shane."

"Yea, he was driving the Hummer thank God."

"How bad is it?"

"We don't know yet. He's in with the doctors. This happened no more than an hour ago baby."

"I'm on my way. I'll call once I land."

"I thought you would. Be careful Jack."

Once I ended that call, I was out the door within 20 minutes and on my way to the airport. Two hours later, I called Shane, telling him I was taking a taxi from the airport. Once I finally got to the hospital, I ran through the emergency room doors. The first person I saw was Shane and launched myself into his arms. As Shane finally placed me back on my feet, Crystal came into the lobby.

"How's he doing Crys?"

"They've taken him down to x-ray. Nothing's for sure at this point. He's asking if we called you."

"Well, if it's okay with you, when they bring him back upstairs, I'll go see him. Just so he knows big sis is here."

"You know better Jack. Of course you can see him."

"Thanks Crys. If you guys don't mind, I'm going to step outside for a minute as I have not had a smoke since I walked into Regan."

I walked out the double doors and found a bench far enough away from them so the hospital wouldn't pitch a fit. Sooner than I had thought, Crystal came out of the double doors over to me. She never smoked unless she was around me. I automatically pulled out a cigarette for her and handed her my lighter.

"Oh, she bought the good ones."

"Of course."

"I noticed you didn't speak to someone when you come in."

"You cut right to the point don't you?"

"As always Jack. Now, you care to tell me why you didn't speak to Matt?"

"Honestly Crys, there's nothing left to say to him."

"What do you mean there's nothing left to say? He's your best friend."

"That I'm not so sure of anymore Crys."

"Talk to me Jack. What's going on?"

"I told Matt the truth, and he couldn't handle it."

"You mean about what the hell has happened in D.C. that's made you change so much?"

"Yea, that."

"I'm glad you told someone. Shan's been worried about you. Neither one of us knew what was going on, but I told him that this was probably something you needed to handle on your own."

"I talked to Sugar first, as I knew he would listen to me. When Shane finally convinced me to tell Matt, I told him. I dreaded telling him so much as I knew he would be the person impacted the most by all of this. I told Matt, and then he bolted. Poor Sugar, I know it killed him listening to me, but he's acted like it hasn't affected him."

About that time, Matt came out from the double doors and walked over to us. Although he was speaking to Crystal, his eyes never left me.

"Crys, they just brought Shannon back up."

"Thanks Matt, we'll be in there in a second."

Matt went back inside, and we finished our cigarettes. The second Crystal come through the door, the nurse stopped her to inform her that Shannon was asking for her. As she went towards the door, she stopped mid-step and turned around to me.

"I'll stay out here Crys, its cool."

"Oh no you don't. Come on Jack."

With that, I was dragged through the door and down the hallway to where Shannon was at. As we entered the room, I let out a sigh of relief I didn't know I had been holding in. Even with his eyes closed, Shannon knew who was in the room with him.

"Hi Jack."

"Hey bubba. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit, honestly."

"What are the doctors saying?"

"They've got to read the x-rays to make sure, but they think I'm just really banged up."

"Have they said when you'll be able to go back to work?"

"Until the tests come in, nothing is for sure. How are you Jack?"

"I'm fine, now that I know you're okay."

"That's not what I mean Sissy and you know it."

"A girl can try can't she?"

"Talk to me Jack."

"Everything's a mess bubba. Matt's not talking to me, I feel like I'm losing Sugar. My whole world is falling apart."

"I think it's time you told me everything."

"Well, I'll sum it up for you now, and give you more details when we get you out of here. Basically, Robert pitched one because of me coming down here, and became physically abusive towards me. When I couldn't take anymore, he and I had it out which included me telling him I love Matt. Even though I know nothing will ever happen, I knew he wouldn't hurt me the way Robert had. I had called the cops before the fight as I knew it would get ugly. About the time he stabbed me in the leg, the cops busted in the door. He fought them, grabbing one of the guns, but the other officer shot and killed him. I was released from the hospital and I came down here. It wasn't till I went to RAW a few weeks ago that everything went to hell."

"Matt told me about you beating Amy's ass."

"I had forewarned him and Sugar I would when I saw her. What else did he tell you?"

"Sissy, he told me everything."

"Did he tell you that he walked out on me after I told him without saying a word? Did Sugar tell you how he almost had to tie me down to keep me here? How can I stay here knowing I cause nothing but pain to my two best friends?"

"They've both been miserable these last few weeks. They're at each other's throats."

"It's all because of me."

"It's not your fault Jack. No one had a clue Matt would react the way he did, especially Shane. I think what's hurt him the most is the fact that Matt did the only thing he knew to do. He didn't know what to say. In turn that hurt you, which automatically set Shane off."

"Sugar loves me bubba."

"I know. He has for a long time."

"It killed him when he heard me say that I love Matt. He won't open up to me; he's shutting himself off to me just like Matt is. I wouldn't know what to do if I lost them both. Sugar got mad at me when I told him I wished I would have died that day. A part of me still does, because that way I would never have hurt them."

Shannon's eyes left mine and went to the door to the hospital room. Mine followed his and was met with the sight of Matt and Shane. I tried to get up from the side of the hospital bed, but Shannon held my wrist.

"No Sissy, you're not going to run this time."

"Please Shannon. I can't stay here."

"Jack…"

"The only thing that is being accomplished by my being here is the fact that I'm still hurting them."

"At least talk to them sissy. Tell them what you're feeling. Make them understand."

With that, Shannon finally let go of my wrist. The second he did, I bolted out of that room. Crystal was right on my tail too.

"Jack! Wait up!"

"Crys…"

"Jack, take the car. Go and stay at our house. I'll have one of the boys bring me home."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm positive."

"Thanks Crys."

"You're welcome Jack."

With that, I took the car and went to the house. I took a hot shower and cried my eyes out. When Crystal finally got home I was already asleep in the guest room. I didn't even hear her come in. I woke up to find I was in someone's arms. As I turned around to see who this person was, I was met by the eyes of Matt Hardy. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. He probably hadn't since I laid it all out on the line for him. He reached over to the bedside table and hit play on the CD player. The next thing I hear is Evanescene's "Forgive Me". The entire song, he's looking into my eyes.

Can you forgive me again?  
I don't know what I said  
But I didn't mean to hurt you

I heard the words come out  
I felt that I would die  
It hurt so much to hurt you

Then you look at me  
You're not shouting anymore  
You're silently broken

I'd give anything now  
to kill those words for you

Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."  
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.

'Cause you were made for me  
Somehow I'll make you see  
How happy you make me

I can't live this life  
Without you by my side  
I need you to survive

So stay with me  
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.

And you forgive me again  
You're my one true friend  
And I never meant to hurt you

No tears this time. There were eerily quiet words.

"Matt things aren't so easy this time. When I needed you the most, you walked away from me."

"Jack, I'm so sorry. I didn't have a clue what to do or say."

"So you thought the best thing to do was leave? I chose to finally tell you about what happened. Knowing what it took for me to do that, even after looking back and seeing me in hysterics, you left? That hurt. That hurt a lot. Before everything else, you were my best friend. Best friends don't do that to each other."

"I was your best friend?"

"How can I have a best friend that won't be there when I need them? I'm there for them, but they don't return that favor? One sided friendships don't work for me."

"Jack…"

"Matt, listen to me! If there's one thing I can't deny, it's that I love you. You're my heart. Yet, you've taken it and broken it."

I looked into Matt's eyes and noticed the tears brimming there.

"Jacqueline Rachelle Dawson, I can't lose you. I can't lose our friendship."

"It wasn't my choice Matthew Moore Hardy."

With that it was my turn to use the CD player. I changed the CD to the Michelle Branch I had placed in there the night before. The opening tunes to "Leap of Faith" came through the speakers.

One less call to answer,  
feeling full of despair,  
don't think I can get through it,  
just one last prayer.

And it's a leap of faith,  
when you believe there's someone out there,  
it's a leap of faith when you believe that someone cares, oh,  
and when I call out to you,  
will you be right there,  
right there.

Searching for the answer,  
nobody seems to care,  
Oh how I wish that you were here,  
beside me,  
to wipe away my tears.

And it's a leap of faith,  
when you believe there's someone out there,  
it's a leap of faith when you believe that someone cares, oh,  
and when I call out to you,  
will you be right there,  
right there. 

Waiting for the answer,  
remembering times we would share,  
somehow I feel you here beside me,  
even though your not there.

And it's a leap of faith,  
when you believe there's someone out there,  
it's a leap of faith when you believe that someone cares, oh,  
and when I call out to you,  
will you be right there-

_[Bridge:_  
Right there---  
And I'll be waiting by the window for your smile to come through,  
and I'll be waiting in the darkness when I call out to you,  
and I'll remember when you told me,  
I could trust in you-

And it's a leap of faith,  
when you believe there's someone out there,  
it's a leap of faith when you believe that someone cares, oh,  
and when I call out to you,  
will you be right there-  
It's a leap of faith,  
and I believe that you are out there,  
it's a leap of faith and I believe you truly care, oh,  
and when I call out to you,  
I know you'll be right there,  
right there,  
and it's a leap of faith.

When the song finished, I leaned up and kissed him. Not a pop kiss as I had a million times before over the years. This was a passion filled kiss that I had so longed to give him. I pulled away, and went to shower and change to leave for the hospital with Crystal. When I reentered the room, I found a white rose lying on my bed with a note under it.

"My dearest Jacqueline,

I am so sorry for all the pain I've caused you. I hope that at some point you can find it in your heart to forgive me. You can take that leap of faith and not worry as I'll be there to catch you. Not that it needed done, but you've proven how much you love me as you have let me go. Neither one of us knows what the future brings, so we will have to just wait and see how things are meant to be. No matter what, I will always be your best friend. Yes I have fucked up more often than not, however don't ever doubt that you will always have a place in my heart. I'm not saying goodbye. I'm just saying see you later.

Forever your best friend,

Matt."


	10. Revisiting the Past

3 years later….

Here I am three years later. I'm still in DC, but not for long. I plan on moving back to NC to accept a new job for the same company that I have worked for going on 10 years now. No one knows yet, because I just found out today that I got the position. Things really haven't changed all that much since that day in Cameron a few years ago. There are a few notables to mention though. Shannon and Crystal had a beautiful baby girl named Chantelle. She turns 2 in March. Jeff and Beth finally got married last year. I think Shane has finally found the woman for him, and it isn't me. The next time Shane came to DC after my little vanishing act from NC; we sat down and had a long discussion. We even tried dating each other, but it just didn't work out. Of course no one knew this was going on. We are still the best of friends. After trying to work things out with Amy for 6 months following the entire Edge thing, Matt has been living the single life. According to Jeff, he hasn't dated anyone since he and Amy called it quits for good. Shannon says he mentions me every so often, asking how I am doing, but nothing more. He didn't even come to my 30th birthday party 2 weeks ago, although he was sent an invitation. I honestly don't know what to think about it all. Hopefully I can find out more once I return to my old stomping grounds.

"Sugar, Sugar, Sugar!"

"What's up my little Jack in the Box?"

"Not much, except I need your help with something."

"Anything doll face. Just name it."

"I need you to help me move."

"Why are you moving?"

"New job, different state."

"Oh no, not again."

"You're gonna like this one Sugar. I promise!"

"The only way I would like it, would be if you… You're not."

"I bought a house in Fayetteville last week Sugar."

"You're really coming back!"

"Yep, Jack is coming home."

"Does anyone else know?"

"Of course Shannon knows because I crashed at his place while I was in town. He so wanted me to buy a house in Southern Pines, but I decided against it. The brothers Hardy don't know yet, and they aren't to. They're gonna find out when I'm ready for them to, which will be in about a month."

"What are you planning Jack?"

"Just a little get together with my peeps. That's all."

"Is it just going to be you and me?"

"Nah, Shannon's already said he would help, as long as it got me back there."

"Okay, call me when you get all the details."

"You've got it."

Thank God the move went smoothly, as nothing got lost or broken. Neither Matt nor Jeff knows of my new address yet. That's all about to change as of today. I finally got the house the way I wanted it last week with Crystal's help. I sent the boys to go get the brothers Hardy while I got the barbeque started and changed into my swimsuit. I laid down explicit instructions that both boys were to come and not to tell them where they were going. Beth had come down earlier to help me and Crystal get things together for this afternoon. She had given Jeff the excuse that she had to run errands. Just as I came back from changing, I heard the unmistakable roar of Matt's Convertible. Beth and Crystal couldn't help but notice the smile that appeared on my face when they pulled in the driveway. We heard car doors slam, and I sent Beth in the house to let them in. I could hear Jeff all the way through the house as he was asking Beth why she was here. She led the boys through the house to the backyard. To say when they saw me standing there they were in shock is an understatement. Shane walked right up to me and hugged me, kissing me on the cheek.

"Looking beautiful as always Jack."

"Why thank you Sugar."

"Look who we got to tag along with us."

I turned around to see Jeff standing beside his wife with his mouth agape. However, Matt was nowhere to be found. I looked to Shane, the worry clearly evident on my face.

"Where is he Sugar?"

Shane turned around, just noticing himself that Matt had apparently disappeared. He shrugged his shoulders with a sad look on his face.

"This is not happening again."

With that, I handed Shane everything he would need for the grill and went into the house. I finally found Matt in my living room staring at the picture of he and I that had been made almost four years ago.

"I'm sorry I didn't come to your birthday party. I was kind of worried about seeing you again, considering how we left things."

I walked up to him, turning him around to face me. I placed my hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes.

"But you're here now. That's all that matters. Not tomorrow, not yesterday, now. Please stay."

With that, I turned around and walked back outside. Shane looked at me questioning what had happened inside. I shook my head, as I was going to wait and see what Matt had decided to do. I finally received my answer as Matt walked back outside. He walked over to me and hugged me from behind.

"I'll stay Jack. We need to talk later."

This kind of worried me as I didn't have a clue what he wanted to talk about. However, the party went on, with lots of food, drinks, and fun. Matt even threw me into the pool. Normally, I would have been mad. However, after years of turmoil between each other, it was like Matt and I were best friends again. A few hours later, I had to excuse myself as I was exhausted. I had been up since early that morning getting everything ready.

"OK guys, I trust you to leave my house in tact while I take a nap. Don't worry about cleaning, as I'll take care of it when I get up."

I went in my room and fell asleep. When I woke up, I realized I wasn't alone. I looked over to the clock on my nightstand and noticed it was already 7. I slowly eased myself from Matt's arms and went outside noticing it was already cleaned. I decided to take advantage of the peace and go swimming. About 15 minutes later, I heard the back door open and saw Matt walk out.

"Swim with me?"

Matt dove into the pool and swam over to where I was. The look on his face told me instantly that he had something on his mind. I didn't have to wait long to figure out what it was either.

"What happened to us Jack?"

"We grew apart Mattie."

"You haven't called me that in so long. I missed that."

"I've missed you."

"So have I Jack. So have I."

Matt and I began playing around in the pool. He talked me into a game of Marco Polo. I thought I was doing well until when I turned around to get away from him, I felt his arms snake around my waist. God I still got those butterflies in my stomach when that man touched me. I struggled to get away, and almost did. Matt finally succeeded in capturing me, and pulled me flush against him. The look on his face was unfamiliar to me. One arm was still around my waist, while the other came up to pet my face.

"You've changed so much, baby."

"Not everything has changed about me Mattie."

"We'll have to see about that now won't we?"

Matt lowered his head to mine and kissed my lips ever so lightly. Even the slightest contact was enough to almost make my heart stop. After he pulled away, I was almost afraid to open my eyes. When I finally willed myself to do so, I saw something in his eyes that I hadn't seen for several years prior: hope.

"Are you sure this is what you want Mattie? Because I don't think I could handle losing you again."

"I actually have wanted to do that since that night in Raleigh. I was fighting an inner battle because I had just broken up with Amy, and everything was so confused. The last time we saw each other, when you kissed me, it awoke something in my heart that I had thought died. It took me a while to realize exactly what it was, but now I know."

"Now you know what?"

"I love you Jacqueline."

With that, Matt leaned down and kissed me again. This time was more passionate than the first. We stood there in the pool, joined at the mouth for what seemed like hours until we both needed to come up for air.

"You wanna go inside?"

Matt helped me out of the pool, and we walked back inside and into my bedroom. He took me into his arms.

"That night in Raleigh, when you got all dolled up, you looked absolutely gorgeous."

"Wait a minute. You didn't even see me till the fight, and by then I was all disheveled."

"Oh no, I saw you before then. Remember, I told you that you wouldn't see me, but I would see you."

"You've never mentioned that before now. Why?"

"At the time, it didn't really seem appropriate Jack. Besides, that was the last thought on my mind that night. I didn't want you to get caught in all this mess with Amy and I. Plus you had enough trouble on your plate without me adding more to it."

"What did I tell you that night? I could handle if you didn't want to be with me. I just didn't want to lose our friendship. However, I ended up doing that anyways."

"Baby, you never lost me. I know it probably seemed like it at the time, but you didn't. Do you know how many times a day you've crossed my mind? I wondered how you were doing, and if you still thought of me. There were many times in which I picked up the phone and called you, only to hang up. I didn't want to hurt you anymore than I already had."

"OK, this is enough talk about the past. It's forgiven, done and over with."

"Jacqueline Rachelle Dawson, I love you."

"I love you too Matthew Moore Hardy."

From that moment on, Matt and I have been officially together. It was six months into our relationship before I finally got the courage to attend another WWE show in person. When I ask Matt what he wanted for his birthday, I wasn't quite expecting the answer I got.


	11. Wishes Do Come True

It was six months into our relationship before I finally got the courage to attend another WWE show in person. When I ask Matt what he wanted for his birthday, I wasn't quite expecting the answer I got.

"Any particular requests you have for your birthday this year Mr. Hardy?"

"I want you on the road with me for two weeks. I want to wake up every morning with you by my side, and go to sleep each night with you in my arms."

"It's going to be hard to get the vacation time approved, but I'll try. I can't promise anything though."

'They should let you have it. C'mon, you haven't taken a day off since your birthday, and that was 6 months ago."

"I'll see what I can do Mattie."

OK, I have to explain something. When I changed jobs, I kept the same position, but I serve a larger list of clientele here than I did in D.C. Yes I still work from home, but only on the days that Matt is off. Otherwise I am stuck in an office. Thank God Shannon got transferred to RAW right after Matt and I got together, that way we can all do things together. I placed a phone call into my boss, hoping that by some small miracle of God I would get the vacation but doubtful that I would. I was quite shocked when he instantly approved it. I was going to wait to tell Matt. I know it's cruel, but I really wanted to surprise him. The day arrived when Matt was supposed to leave town. By then, Shane was in on my little plan. He thought I was crazy, but knew if anyone could pull it off, it was me. Matt had spent last night at my house. As my alarm woke me up, I made sure everything was set for later. I took a shower and threw on some casual clothes. Matt had asked me to wake him up before I left, but as part of my cruel joke, I just reset the alarm so that he would get up in time. Like clockwork, Shane arrived to pick us up. I hid in enough time so that Matt wouldn't notice me when the alarm went off. Matt stumbled through the living room.

"Give me a minute Sugar."

"No problem man."

I took the opportunity to load everything in Shane's truck. When Matt was finally dressed and ready, he began to notice things.

"Where's my luggage Sugar?"

"It's already in the truck. We've gotta go man. It's getting late."

"Was Jack here when you pulled in?"

"Yea, she said she had left something for you out on the patio table that you had to take with you. She said that you had to go get it."

"Okay…"

I had hung curtains over the sliding glass door to the patio a few weeks ago just for this purpose. I could tell he was at the door, as I saw his feet. As the door slid open, I was reclined back on one of the lounge chairs with a shit eating grin on my face.

"Jack?"

"It's about damn time you finished getting ready Hardy. Remember, we've got a plane to catch!"

"We've got a plane to catch?"

"Surprise. Happy Birthday Mattie."

"You got it. You little…"

"Oh you love me and could never be mad at me. Hush up and lets blow this Popsicle stand."

We finally got on the road and to the airport. Before we could even get out of the driveway, Matt had to run back in the house as he had forgotten something he absolutely had to have for this trip. I fell asleep in Matt's arms on the way to New Jersey. While I was asleep, Shane had apparently told Matt the entire story about his birthday surprise. When I awoke, I found Matt's eyes staring at me.

"See something you like Mattie?"

"No, I see someone I love."

"I love you. You like your birthday present?"

"I love it. I just can't wait until I get to the hotel so I can finish unwrapping it."

"Oh my God, virgin ears over here!"

"Virgin ears my ass Sugar. I know that for a fact."

"Jack, why do you have to go and tell all of my secrets for?"

"Because I can."

"You're mean."

"You love me. I cannot wait until tonight and the unveiling of your new gimmick. Sugar Shane is back!"

"I'm actually going to miss the green hair dye though."

"Oh come on! You mean you would rather keep the hair dye?"

"OK Jack, you win."

We landed and headed straight for the arena. As I walked in on Matt's arm, I received a lot of stares. Some of the faces I recognized, however there were some that were new. I saw Stacy walking down the hall and couldn't resist yelling at her.

"Hey Rapunzel!"

Her nickname was a joke between the two of us. One night we were both drunk and I had said she reminded me of Rapunzel. But instead of being at the top of the tower waiting to be rescued, she'd have no problem rescuing her prince from it because of her legs being so long. Unfortunately, the nickname stuck. The second she heard my voice, she stopped dead in her tracks. She hadn't seen me since right before Shannon's wreck almost four years ago. We'd talk on the phone every once in a while, but that's about it. As she turned around to face me, her jaw dropped to the floor.

"Jack!"

We ran down the hall and met each other while Matt just shook his head and went to find Shane.

"Long time no see Ms. Thing!"

"I know, tell me about it. So how's life?"

It's good. Moved back to North Carolina about 7 months ago."

"Really? Did Hardy finally get his head screwed on straight?"

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is, are you two together or what?"

"Yea, we've been together for about 6 months now."

"Yay! I always told you things would work out."

"It only took 3 years to do it though Stace."

"Patience is a virtue Jack."

"Try telling that to Mattie."

"What do you mean?"

"Believe it or not, Matt and I haven't had sex yet. I love that boy with every breath in me, but I dunno if I'm ready for that yet."

"Honey, I'm sure Matt understands. He'd love you regardless of whether or not you sleep with him."

"He's tried, Gods he has tried to get me in that bed. There have been a few times where I was quite close to it, but I want to make sure I'm not wasting this on something that won't last. I don't think Matt's going anywhere anytime soon, but…"

"You want a wedding ring."

"No not necessarily a wedding ring. Hell, an engagement ring would work for me. Its proof on his part, that he's willing to make a commitment to me and only me. I hope I don't sound too cynical."

"Sweetheart, you've had a lot of issues with trust over the years. Matt knows that. Have you ever talked to him about why you're not ready to sleep with him yet?"

"Actually, I have always thought it was understood, but I may be wrong."

"Sit down and talk to him. You never know."

After the show, Matt decided to skip on us going out with the guys, and we went back to the hotel. As I entered the key card into the lock and entered the room, I was shocked at what I saw. The room was illuminated in candles, there was champagne chilling by the bed, and the bed itself was pulled back and covered in rose petals. I turned around to look at Matt, and he's standing there with a grin that would put the Cheshire cat to shame.

"Now, what's all this Mr. Hardy?"

"If we could continue our voyage into the room, all questions will be answered shortly."

I walked into the room, and just stood there taking in everything around me. I was shocked to say the least. I heard Matt sit his bags down, and then felt his arms wrap themselves around my waist. I felt his breath on my neck.

"You see, since I missed your birthday, I thought we could celebrate our birthdays together this year."

"Matt, you already gave me a birthday present silly."

"Work with me here Jack, okay?"

"OK, I'll bite."

"Good. Thank you."

Matt took my hand and led me over to the bed, directing me to have a seat on it. As I did, Matt placed a box into my hands.

"Consider this a belated birthday present."

I carefully pulled apart the ribbons and the paper someone obviously had taken the time to make sure was exactly perfect, and opened the box. I looked inside at its contents and tears formed in my eyes. There sat the music box I had eyed so long ago in that store window in D.C. I could only look Matt in the eyes, as no words would come out of my mouth. Matt chuckled deeply and crouched down in front of me, cupping my face with his hand.

"You like?"

"I love it Matt. How did you remember?"

"To be honest, I've had it for three years. When we went shopping that day in D.C., I picked it up. It was so obvious that you wanted it. However you wouldn't get it for yourself, so I decided I would get it for you."

"I love you Matthew Moore Hardy. You know that right?"

"I do, as you know that I love you."

Matt leaned toward me and our lips met. We remained in this spot for a few minutes when Matt finally pulled away.

"There's more beautiful."

"More? Matt you didn't have to."

"Actually this can be considered a combination present. On second thought, this can be considered as my present from you depending on how things go."

"Now you have me curious."

"Just close your eyes for me a second."

I closed my eyes, and Matt took one of my hands in his. I soon felt something being placed in my hands. I wasn't sure what it was, however I did feel the velvet that was on the outside. Matt closed my hand around the object, and placed a kiss on my hand.

"Open your eyes baby."

As I opened my eyes, and my hand, I was shocked to see a small red velvet box in my hand. I went to look at Matt with a questioning look on my face, but found that he had since knelt down on one knee. I didn't want to get my hopes up, so I waited on Matt to say something, anything.

"You can open it baby. It's yours."

I opened the box to discover a gorgeous three stone diamond ring. I could have sworn that I felt my jaw hit the floor. I felt Matt grasp my chin and make me look him in his eyes.

"Jacqueline Rachelle Dawson, my best friend, my love, my everything, I'd be lost without you in my life. I want to make sure that never happens again. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"Yes Matthew Moore Hardy, I'll marry you."

Matt removed the box from my hand with shaky hands and placed the ring on my finger. He leaned up and kissed me with a passion I had never felt come from him before. I became Jell-O in his arms as he lay me down on the bed. I knew right then at that moment I wanted Matt to be my first. The problem was going to be telling him that. As our lips parted, my hand cupped his cheek and looked into his eyes.

"Mattie, I want you to make love to me. However, there is something you need to know first."

"What is it baby?"

"I'm a virgin Matt. This will be my first time."

"Well, I consider it an honor to be the first and only man you'll ever let make love to you. Let me show you how much I love you."

Quite a few glorious but torturing hours and several orgasms later, the two of us, sweaty from all the activities, lay in bed together. Part of me was wondering if it was always like this, why I waited so long. The other was glad I waited because it was something truly special between us that happened at exactly the right moment. Matt rose up on his elbow and cupped my face with his hand.

"My dear fiancé, what are you so in deep thought about?"

"Say that again."

Matt could only smile.

"What? My dear fiancé?"

"Yea, that. Don't pinch me, as I don't want to wake up from this dream, ever!"

"I'll say it all you want, that is until I make you my wife. Then my favorite phrase is going to be Mrs. Jacqueline Hardy."

"Dawson-Hardy, of course."

"I don't care what you want to call yourself, as long as you become my wife, that's all that matters."

"To be honest, since I was the only child, and both of my parents are gone, I wanted to at least honor them in some way."

"Baby, I wouldn't have it any other way."

"You were worth the wait you know."

"What do you mean?"

"You're the only man I've ever pictured letting love me the way you did tonight. I wanted to wait until I knew for sure that I wasn't wasting something I consider special on just anyone. Tonight you showed me that I made the right decision all those years ago, and waited to share this with someone whom I love so completely."

"You won't ever have to worry about losing me baby. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Matt happened to reach over and grab a remote control. This surprised me, as I didn't expect him to turn on the TV after everything that had just happened. However, I was quick to find out when he hit the button, it wasn't the television, as it was a sound system in the hotel room. As soon as he got it to do what he wanted, and I heard the opening notes to the song he had selected, I couldn't help but smile. What he did next shocked me, as he stood up in all his nude glory, taking my hand, pulling me up with him into his arms. We began swaying to the music, and as I listened to the words, I realized that they indeed fit what we had.

_Lying here with you  
Listening to the rain  
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face  
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive  
These are the moments I'll remember all my life  
I found all I've waited for  
And I could not ask for more  
Looking in your eyes  
Seeing all I need  
Everything you are is everything to me  
These are the moments  
I know heaven must exist  
These are the moments I know all I need is this  
I have all I've waited for  
And I could not ask for more_

_[Chorus__  
I could not ask for more than this time together  
I could not ask for more than this time with you  
Every prayer has been answered   
Every dream I have's come true  
And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be  
Here with you here with me_

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive  
These are the moments I'll remember all my life  
I've got all I've waited for  
And I could not ask for more

_[Chorus___

I could not ask for more than the love you give me  
'Coz it's all I've waited for  
And I could not ask for more  
I could not ask for more


End file.
